Pink Ice
by nic73
Summary: Episode tag for 604. Jane rries to find out the reason for the cold ride back to headquarters. One shot.


Jane takes a sideways look at Lisbon. They are on their way back to CBI headquarters after leaving Kirkland's torture chamber. It isn't a very long drive, and they've only been on the road for five minutes, but, Jane detects that the temperature inside the vehicle has dropped to below freezing point. Lisbon has not said a word since snapping at him to put on his seatbelt. She's stared relentlessly out of the window, not looking his way once. An involuntary shiver runs though his spine. He looks at her again.

"Penny for them."

The only sign Lisbon gives off that she's heard him is the deep steadying breath she takes.

"Okkaaayyy"

Jane goes into his left trouser pocket and brings out a handful of change.

"Everything in my hand then."

Lisbon's response is to look in the rear view mirror and indicate to turn left.

Jane runs through the events in his mind to work out this change in attitude. She was fine at the scene.

"How about twenty questions. I ask you questions to try to find out why you're upset."

Still no response from the seat next to him. He speaks softly to himself.

"Righty O"

He turns and looks out the side window, carefully positioning himself so he can surreptitiously watch Lisbon, who is reflected in the glass. He begins to whistle, just loud enough to be heard and as tunelessly as possible. After a three minutes he's impressed as there's been no reaction from Lisbon but then she slams her fist on the wheel.

"Shut up Jane."

Jane spins in his chair to face her and beams at her

"Welcome back Lisbon. Come on, tell me what's wrong."

Jane watches as Lisbon breathes in and out rapidly and then she rolls her eyes and he knows that he has her.

"What is wrong, is that you don't know what is wrong!"

Jane leans back in his chair, the thought running through his mind: 'Oh dear, it's that bad.'

"I put my hands up, I have been trying to figure out what's wrong for the past ten minutes and I don't know. So please tell me and we can clear the air."

Lisbon finally looks at him. Jane sees pain and frustration.

"That's the problem Jane the 'air' won't be cleared. I'll just say one thing. Did you see Marx?"

Jane is puzzled.

"Of course I did. You were there, a sight I will never forg...Oh!"

Jane feels his chest tighten as understanding knocks the breath out of him.

"I do believe the penny has finally dropped in that finely tuned brain of yours."

"I'm sorry Lisbon, I never thought..."

"Of course you never thought and you never will. You weren't going to tell him the names were you?"

"I couldn't..."

"No of course you couldn't. You couldn't let someone else take your revenge away from you. You put yourself in that dangerous situation, to achieve what? You must have had some agenda since you didn't share with me what you were doing, so we could protect you."

"He made me go with him, he had a gun."

Lisbon brings the car to a screeching halt and turns to him with such fury that Jane retreats into the corner.

"So how did he know that his list was fake? He just suddenly thought, 'wait I think Jane is pulling the wool over my eyes, I'm going to kidnap him and get ther truth out of him. Only you, me and the team, knew the list was fake and I can only think of one person who would tell Kirkland. You set him up to kidnap you. You saw what he was capable of. Yet you walked in there, alone. What if Hightower decided to just get on with her life? Reed Smith would be calling me out to another body, another burnt off face."

Lisbon voice trembles as she finishes the sentence and looks away from him. Jane reaches out and touches her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Lisbon. I never thought."

She refuses to look at him as she fights to keep the tears at bay.

"I don't know if you did or didn't, I know it wouldn't have made any difference. Just as it won't at the end. You will go off and face Red John by yourself, revenge fueling your thoughts, actions and senses. Indifferent to the anything or anyone else. Indifferent to the mess you will leave in your wake."

Jane leaves his hand on her shoulder. He tries to come up with something to say that will change this. But he knows it's all true, every word. He did manipulate Kirkland, knowing what may happen. He knows he was lucky to be saved unharmed. He knows it was unforgivable to have taken the risk, he didn't even know if what he could glean from Kirkland would even be useful. It's true he will face Red John alone, he will get his revenge. Lisbon is wrong about only one thing and he voices it softly, with a gentle squeeze of her shoulder.

"It won't be with indifference."

Lisbon restarts the car without looking at him.

"I guess that will make it all right then."


End file.
